When Your Child Needs Help: A Parent’s Guide to Starting Therapy
Recognizing the Signs, Having the Conversation, and Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health Journey
You’ve been watching your eight-year-old struggle for months now. The tantrums that seemed age-appropriate at five haven’t improved. The anxiety about school has escalated from Sunday night tears to daily morning battles. Their teacher mentions concerning behaviors you don’t see at home. You wonder if this is just a phase, if you’re overreacting, or if your child genuinely needs professional help. The decision to seek therapy for your child can feel overwhelming — laden with guilt, fear, and uncertainty about what it means for your family. Here’s what every parent needs to know: seeking therapy for your child isn’t an admission of failure or a sign that something is terribly wrong. It’s a brave, loving choice to provide your child with tools and support that can transform not just their childhood but their entire life trajectory.
At Michigan Wellbeing, we work with parents who are taking this important step toward supporting their child’s mental health. We understand the mix of relief and anxiety that comes with acknowledging your child needs more help than you can provide alone. The decision to start therapy often comes after months or even years of trying everything else — different parenting strategies, school interventions, waiting for them to “grow out of it.” When you finally make that call, you’re not giving up; you’re stepping up to give your child what they need to thrive.
Recognizing When Your Child Might Benefit from Therapy
Children communicate distress differently than adults. They might not have words for anxiety, depression, or trauma. Instead, their struggles often show up as behaviors, physical symptoms, or changes in functioning that parents might initially dismiss as phases or developmental quirks. Understanding what to look for helps you recognize when professional support could make a difference.
Significant changes in behavior that persist beyond a few weeks often signal underlying emotional struggles. This might include increased aggression, withdrawal from family and friends, or regression to younger behaviors like bedwetting or baby talk. School refusal that goes beyond typical reluctance, dramatic drops in academic performance, or teacher reports of concerning behavior all warrant attention. Sleep disturbances — nightmares, insomnia, or sudden need to sleep with parents — often indicate anxiety or stress your child can’t articulate.
Physical symptoms without medical cause frequently mask emotional distress in children. Persistent stomachaches, headaches, or vague complaints of feeling sick, especially connected to specific situations like school or social events, might indicate anxiety. Changes in eating patterns — sudden pickiness, loss of appetite, or emotional eating — can signal depression or stress. Children literally embody their emotions, and their bodies often tell the story their words cannot.
Specific Signs That Therapy Could Help:
Excessive worry or fear that interferes with daily activities
Persistent sadness or irritability lasting more than two weeks
Extreme reactions to separations from parents
Frequent tantrums or meltdowns beyond typical age range
Difficulty making or keeping friends
Sudden decline in academic performance
Self-harm behaviors or statements about wanting to die
Traumatic experience (divorce, death, accident, abuse)
Obsessive behaviors or compulsive rituals
Dramatic personality changes
Regression in developmental milestones
Intense fears or phobias limiting activities
Sometimes the signs are subtle — a previously outgoing child becoming quietly compliant, a creative child losing interest in activities they loved, or a confident child suddenly seeming uncertain about everything. Trust your parental instinct. If something feels off, even if you can’t articulate exactly what, professional assessment can provide clarity.
Having the Conversation with Your Child
How you introduce the idea of therapy profoundly influences your child’s attitude toward it. Many parents worry about stigmatizing their child or making them feel broken. The key is framing therapy as a normal, helpful resource rather than punishment or evidence of failure. Your attitude — calm, matter-of-fact, and positive — sets the tone for your child’s perception.
For younger children, simple, concrete explanations work best. “We’re going to meet someone who helps kids with big feelings.” “This is a special kind of teacher who helps children when things feel hard.” “Just like we go to the doctor for our bodies, sometimes we need help with our feelings and thoughts.” Avoid overwhelming them with details or adult concerns. Keep it simple, honest, and age-appropriate.
Older children and pre-teens benefit from more involvement in the decision. “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling with anxiety, and I think talking to someone who specializes in helping kids might be useful. What do you think?” Acknowledge their autonomy while maintaining your parental authority to make healthcare decisions. If they resist, validate their feelings while staying firm: “I understand you don’t want to go, and you don’t have to like it, but we’re going to try it because I love you and want to help you feel better.”
Preparing Your Child for the First Session
Reducing anxiety about the unknown helps children approach therapy more openly. Explain what therapy actually involves in concrete terms they can understand. “You’ll play and talk with someone in a comfortable room. They might have toys, games, and art supplies. You can talk about whatever you want, or just play if talking feels too hard.” For older children: “The therapist will want to get to know you. You might talk, or do activities together. They won’t make you talk about anything you’re not ready to discuss.”
Address common fears directly. Many children worry the therapist will tell parents everything they say. Explain confidentiality in age-appropriate terms: “The therapist keeps most of what you say private, just between you two. They only tell mom and dad if you’re unsafe or if you want them to share something.” This privacy often relieves children who fear getting in trouble for their thoughts or feelings.
Let your child have some control over the process where possible. They might choose a comfort item to bring, pick what to wear, or decide what to tell the therapist first. This sense of agency helps counter the powerlessness children often feel when adults make decisions about their care. However, maintain boundaries — going to the appointment isn’t negotiable, but how they engage once there can be flexible.
What Parents Can Expect from the Process
Child therapy looks different from adult therapy. Play therapy for younger children might seem like “just playing,” but trained therapists use play as a medium for children to express and process emotions they can’t verbalize. Art therapy allows expression through creation. Cognitive-behavioral approaches with older children might include games, activities, and homework that seems more like fun projects than therapy.
Initial sessions often involve assessment — the therapist getting to know your child, understanding their struggles, and building rapport. This relationship-building phase is crucial. Children need to trust their therapist before they’ll open up about difficult feelings. Don’t expect immediate revelations or quick fixes. Therapy is a process that unfolds at your child’s pace, not adult timeline expectations.
What the Therapy Process Typically Includes:
Initial parent consultation to understand concerns
Assessment sessions with your child
Regular therapy sessions (usually weekly)
Periodic parent check-ins or family sessions
Homework or activities between sessions
Collaboration with school if needed
Adjustments to approach based on progress
Gradual spacing of sessions as improvement occurs
Parent involvement varies based on the child’s age and needs. You might participate in some sessions, receive coaching on supporting your child at home, or have separate sessions to process your own feelings about your child’s struggles. The therapist will clarify expectations and boundaries, helping you understand how to support therapy without undermining the process.
Supporting Your Child’s Therapy Journey
Your role in your child’s therapy success cannot be overstated. How you talk about therapy, how you handle post-session transitions, and how you implement recommendations at home all influence outcomes. Consistency matters — regular attendance, even when your child resists or seems better, allows the therapeutic process to unfold properly.
Respect the therapeutic relationship and boundaries. Don’t pump your child for information after sessions. A simple “How was it?” with acceptance of whatever answer they give — including “Fine” or “I don’t want to talk about it” — maintains trust. If your child shares something, listen without judgment, even if what they share surprises or concerns you. They’re testing whether you can handle their truth.
Be patient with the process. Therapy often involves temporary increases in difficult behaviors as children process challenging emotions. They might seem worse before better — more tantrums, more anxiety, more defiance — as they work through feelings they’ve been suppressing. This is normal and usually indicates the therapy is touching important areas. Stay in communication with the therapist about concerning changes, but trust the process.
Managing Your Own Emotions
Watching your child struggle enough to need therapy triggers intense emotions in parents. Guilt about not recognizing signs sooner, fear about what this means for their future, shame about feeling like you’ve failed, grief about your child’s pain — these feelings are normal and deserve acknowledgment. Your emotional wellbeing directly impacts your ability to support your child.
Consider your own therapy or support during this time. Parenting a child with mental health challenges is stressful and isolating. Having your own space to process feelings, receive support, and develop coping strategies helps you stay regulated for your child. At Michigan Wellbeing, we often work with entire families, recognizing that a child’s struggles affect everyone and everyone’s wellbeing affects the child.
Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re showing your child that it’s okay to need support, that mental health matters, and that problems can be addressed rather than hidden. These lessons — perhaps more than any specific therapeutic intervention — can shape how your child approaches challenges throughout their life.
The Investment in Your Child’s Future
Starting therapy in childhood can prevent years of struggle in adolescence and adulthood. Children’s brains are remarkably plastic, capable of forming new patterns more easily than adult brains. Early intervention for anxiety, trauma, or behavioral challenges can prevent these issues from becoming entrenched patterns that are harder to change later.
The skills children learn in therapy — emotional regulation, communication, self-awareness, coping strategies — serve them throughout life. They develop emotional vocabulary that helps them express needs rather than act out. They learn that feelings are manageable, that they’re not alone with their struggles, and that seeking help is a healthy response to difficulty. These lessons create resilient adults who know how to care for their mental health.
Beyond individual benefits, child therapy can transform family dynamics. As children develop better emotional regulation, family stress decreases. As parents learn to understand and respond to their child’s needs more effectively, connection deepens. Siblings benefit from calmer household dynamics. The entire family system can shift toward healthier patterns that support everyone’s wellbeing.
Taking the First Step
If you’re reading this wondering whether your child needs therapy, trust your instinct. The fact that you’re considering it seriously suggests something needs attention. You don’t need to wait for a crisis or be certain about diagnoses. Many parents find that even assessment provides valuable insights, whether or not ongoing therapy is recommended.
Starting therapy doesn’t mean your child will be in treatment forever. Many children benefit from relatively short-term intervention — a few months of support during a difficult transition, skill-building for specific challenges, or processing of particular events. Others benefit from longer support, especially for complex or chronic challenges. The therapist will help you understand what’s appropriate for your child’s specific needs.
Reaching out for help can feel vulnerable, like admitting you can’t handle everything yourself. But parenting was never meant to be done in isolation. In many cultures and throughout history, raising children was a community effort with multiple adults providing different types of support. Today’s therapy is one way of accessing that village of support your child needs and deserves.
Ready to explore therapy for your child? Michigan Wellbeing specializes in child and family therapy, providing compassionate, effective support for children and their parents. Contact us today to take the first step toward helping your child thrive.
Get in Touch
Ready to start your journey? Contact us today to schedule an appointment.
📞 Call or Text: (248) 266–5775
📧 Email: info@miwellbeing.org
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